It is all in my head! So I am giong to PRESS THROUGH!

It is all in my head. The allergies, they are all in my head. My nose is running, my eyes are red, I can't sleep and there is snot dripping down the front of my shirt. I am frightening to be around. ALLERGIES! It is all in my head, but I am not one of those who takes medicine for every little thing. I am not judging those that do, but I am not going to do it. I am going to press through. I know that I can't sleep at night. I know that as a result I am not the kind of mom I want to be and could be, but I am pressing through this, pushing to the other side. Lying in bed at night, unable to sleep and praying to God asking for healing. I know SO MANY people with allergies. Everywhere I turn there are people suffering from allergies and most of them take the easy way out and take medication, but that is not for me. After all, it is all in my head.

WHAT!!!!

Give me a break. I am so sick of the stereo types that STILL hang on to depression. Sure, some might abuse the medications, but no matter what the circumstance, there will be abuse. Do we avoid anything that could possibly be abused. NO!!!!

My sister almost died. That makes me angry. When a parent commits suicide it increases the chances of a child committing suicide by 60%. AND YET WE HAVE THIS STIGMA ATTACHED TO DEPRESSION AND ITS TREATMENTS!!!! AAAUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!

It is in my head. It really is, but I am taking my allergy meds and the anti-depressants. With the anti-depressants I sleep at night. Without them, I wake up 10- 20 times a night. Does the depression cause the insomnia? Maybe. Does the insomnia cause the depression? Maybe. Maybe both. All I know is that I don't hate my husband when I take the anti-depressants. I used to wish I was dead. I went to counseling and wished David was dead. With the anti-depressants I can just live my life and be a good mom.

Four days after starting them two of my closest friends, who did not know I had started taking them, commented on how drastically my physical appearance had changed. One thought I lost weight. One thought I had new haircut and make-up. The difference, there was life in my eyes again.

There are so many biases we have that we don't even realize we have. My parents are divorced because they refused to deal with my mom's depression. It really stinks, but it is the truth. If they were not ashamed of depression, if if if..... No one can know for certain, but some good anti-depressants would NOT have hurt. Yeah, counseling is very important, but we don't send someone to counseling for allergies, diabetes, arthritus, etc. It is time to grow up and move past it being "ALL IN HER HEAD!"

Okay, soap box over. OXOXOXo

PS all my ques are in Popolsku tonight. Great. I hope this posts.